Integrity in the Legal Profession- What to Look For In a Lawyer.

Warren Buffet says integrity is the most important trait to hire for.  Ref:  https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/first-90-days-warren-buffetts-advice-for-hiring-based-on-3-traits.html.  The same holds true when hiring a lawyer.  You want a lawyer you can trust, not only to get you a favorable result (which no lawyer can guarantee), but who will be honest with you about the direction of your case. Using Warren Buffet’s 12-question analysis, here are the things you should look for in an attorney.

1. Attorneys should tailor advice to your specific case.  Attorneys draw on their experiences, but should be learning from them, whether good or bad, so that they can tailor advice to your unique set of facts, rather than treating you like another cog in the wheel.

2. Attorneys should not be afraid to be challenged.  They should be able to respond to questions with professionalism and confidence.

3. An attorney should respect the judges, but not fear them.  An attorney should respect the law, but not be afraid to argue a different interpretation of law.  Bad court decisions must be challenged if they are to be overruled. The first attorney to challenge Plessy v. Ferguson was most likely considered a nuisance by the judge, but his efforts eventually led to Brown v. Board of Education.

4. An attorney should not “break the rules.”  Especially the ethics rules that guide our profession.  Attorneys should practice with professionalism, which means respect of others and of rules, which are designed to protect our clients.

5. An attorney should never advise you to do anything illegal or unethical. 

6. An attorney should maintain confidentiality of your conversations, but only to an extent.  What you tell an attorney is confidential, but if you express an intent to do something illegal or harmful, the attorney is permitted to report it.

7. Sometimes tension between attorneys in cases occurs.  Your attorney should handle that tension with professionalism, maturity, and class.  A war of words may only end up costing you money.

8. Your attorney should keep you updated on every aspect of your case, return calls timely, and respond to emails timely.  She should be honest with you about your prospects for success, the weaknesses in your case, and advise you on what you can do that [you have control over] to increase your chances of success in your case.  An hourly-fee attorney should send you invoices regularly so you can see what is being worked on and how your money is being spent.

9. Your attorney should be honest with you, advise you on what she believes is a fair outcome (as well as the extreme possible outcomes), explain things in terms you can understand, and answer your questions.

10. Your attorney should never be willing to lie to anyone for you.  They can be disbarred for this, and you will pay the price.  You want an attorney who is honest to the judiciary.  This does not mean that attorney will disclose your confidential communications, but do not trust an attorney who is willing to misrepresent something to the court or advises you to hide evidence.

11. Look at attorney reviews for signs of integrity, and be sure to read between the lines of bad reviews.  Bad reviews may be written anonymously by people who were never even clients (or even former opposing parties) just to harm that attorney’s reputation.

12. Read an attorney’s peer reviews as well.  Is that person respected in the legal community?  If not, this could be a sign of a lack of integrity.

For more information on what to look for in an attorney, check out Family Law Boot Camp.

Aggressive representation

We've all seen the commercials of attorneys bragging to be the Strong Arm of the Law or the Bulldog.  There are YouTube videos of corny commercials the nation over of attorneys practically chanting while wearing their war paint about how they'll fight to the death for you. Which raises the question, should you be looking for an aggressive attorney?

Maybe.

You should be looking for someone who CAN be aggressive, IF the need arises.  To that point, you should be looking for an attorney who tailors her approach to your unique situation. 

Not every case should be approached aggressively.  It may make more strategic sense to approach your case congenially, in order to make the other party look like an unreasonable bully.  Often times, opposing lawyers get along with each other, which tends to increase your chances at settling and thus saving money.

On the other hand, there are times when the other party is being SO unreasonable, an aggressive offense makes the most sense.  It may intimidate the other side into a more reasonable position, or drive up that person's attorney fees to the point they can't afford to keep fighting.

Question your attorney's approach and ensure that it makes the most sense for your set of facts.  You may dislike your ex (to put it mildly) but that doesn't mean being out for blood will work well for what your goals are.

Choosing a School with the Other Parent

In August every year, family lawyers are flooded with phone calls from parents who cannot agree with each other on which school little Johnny should attend, starting that month.  They ask the me to file an emergency motion so a judge can decide.   

The problem is, this is not considered an emergency, so one of two things will end up happening:  Either the parents will take Johnny to the school of their own respective choice on their own respective parenting days, thereby totally inappropriately involving this poor child in the conflict, OR the holdout parent will win.  Neither of these is a good solution.

Sure, you can still try filing something with the Court at the last minute.  But you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning in a house you won from Publisher’s Clearinghouse than getting in front of a judge in time.   

Judges don’t typically consider this issue an emergency.  In Family Court, an emergency usually means child endangerment.  And while your child may be in emotional danger due to this disagreement, it's probably not enough. 

The best thing you can do is figure this out in advance - at least a year before Johnny will start school.  Start having the conversation with the ex today.  If you reach an agreement, then do this:  1) get it in writing and 2) file the agreement with the court.  If you can’t agree and you need a judge to decide this for you, file a motion or petition (whichever the case may be for you) AT LEAST by September the year before (which, depending on the county where you live, may still be too late). 

Voting on Judges

In Colorado, state court judges are appointed by the governor, but the public decides in elections whether judges are to be retained.  When you see judges on your ballot, you’re not voting them in – you’re voting on whether they should keep their jobs.  Most people probably don’t have a clue who to vote for or against.  I have some friends who asked me if I knew anything about any of them, which I did, and was happy to share. 

Maybe I never noticed before this year, but this election season for the first time I noticed political signs placed on public lands that were anti- a particular judge.  I happen to know this judge and think she is one of the best judges we have in domestic court.  The signs read "vote no on Judge Amico. Anti family, anti father."

Whoever placed these signs is a disgruntled dad who lost a case. I know her as a judge quite well, having represented fathers before her, and I can tell you she is absolutely NOT anti-father or anti-anything.  She has a reputation as one of the best, most fair judges we've got.  She cares about kids, and all the people who appear before her.

It may be worth mentioning here that the courts look at a parent’s ability to put the kids’ needs ahead of their own.  That being said, I can see why this amoeba lost his kids.  I didn’t get my way, so I’m going to run a campaign against a fantastic public servant because she pissed me off. ME ME ME It’s all about ME.  This is not the type of rational decision making that gets you custody.

A judge's job is to decide what's fair based on the evidence presented, and that means some parties don’t get their way.  Please ask a lawyer friend for their opinion on the judge as a judicial officer, rather than basing your vote on someone's personal vendetta.  Don't be swayed by vindictive signs.  If anything, vote FOR her because of these signs.  She obviously made the right decision if she awarded custody of these children to the parent who DIDN’T choose to spend potential college funds on revenge.

How Do I Choose a Family Lawyer?

This question must be answered by first determining your goals for the case. 

If your goal is to fight your face off and money is no object, pick an expensive, litigious lawyer.  If your goal is to divide things pretty fairly and not spend a lot of money, find a lawyer who advertises being more client-centric, and is more settlement minded.  If your goal is to fight your face off but you don’t want to pay lawyer a lot, start practicing witchcraft because that isn’t going to happen without a little black magic, a sacrificial goat, and the bottled tears of children.

That’s pretty much it.  The more litigious your case (meaning, the more you fight), the more expensive it will be.  Trial is expensive because it takes so much time to prepare for, plus you’re paying the lawyer for all that time out of the office.  In addition to trial, you may be paying the lawyer to conduct expensive discovery.  Lawyers make their money by billing you for their time working on your case.  So, the more time they work on your case, the more it will cost you.  And we work off retainers, which means you pay in advance, so there is typically no getting around paying the bill.

So, back to the original question:  How do I choose a family lawyer?  Quite simply, figure out what your goals are, meet with a few lawyers, and see how they respond to your stated goals.  In addition, make sure they promise the following:

• Good communication (you should know what is going on in your case at all times)
• Timely responses to emails and phone calls (this doesn’t mean same day, but two weeks is too long, and not at all is unacceptable) 
• Collaboration (it’s your case – you should be involved in the substantive decisions)
• Ethics.  I realize this defies ever lawyer joke.  And if you’re the client looking for a litigious lawyer, this defies logic.  But trust me on this one.  Unethical lawyers make bad case decisions, which will hurt you.  

If they don’t promise these things (and especially if they don’t follow through after you’ve hired them), find a new lawyer.

Lastly, like any relationship, chemistry is important.  Find a lawyer you like!  Not just one you can stand.

Alisha

Fighting Over the Face Wash

Going through a break up is like hanging from a cliff.  You start grabbing at anything to pull you back.  A flimsy branch; the flat ground; the old t-shirt you left at her house.  If you’re going through a divorce the goofy stuff you’re clinging to is just on a larger scale:  the dog paintings you bought at the flea market; the couch that no one sits on. 

Sometimes people fight over material things as a way of holding on to the relationship.  Subconsciously having that bad relationship of fighting is better than having no relationship.  By continuing to find something to fight over, the relationship still exists.  Once there is nothing to fight over, they’ve lost that hold on the other person.  

I used to keep face wash and moisturizer at my ex-boyfriend’s house.  And probably a tooth brush too.  But that’s it.  I didn’t have anything of value there.  I had the same face wash and moisturizer at my own house, and honestly if he’d lost it, I never would have cared.  But when he dumped me, I never wanted anything more in my life.  And to feed my obsession, instead of asking for it, I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited to see if he’d bring it to me, but he didn’t.  So I convinced myself he must be keeping it to make me ask him for it.  After a while I convinced myself he would refuse to ever give it back.  Anger began to build inside of me.  “How DARE that sonofabitch keep MY Aveda face wash?  He’s probably given it to some new girl to use!,” said the PG-13 version of my inner monologue.   I finally got so furious I sent him an angry email demanding he bring me my face wash.  

He did.  Immediately.  My balloon was popped.  It was over.  I felt like someone let the air out of my chest.  That was it.  There was nothing left connecting me to him.  There was no reason anymore to talk to him.  He could officially be done with my crazy ass.

They say the best way to take control back from someone trying to control you, is to let go of the thing they’re using to control you.  In my case, I was trying to keep a hold of that relationship by having face wash at his house.  Just by having it there.  Once he gave it back, he cut that tie.  I could have taken the control back of my own life by just letting him keep that stupid face wash and forgetting about it.  

Be willing to let go of the material things.  You may be thinking, “yeah but yours was just face wash.  Mine is valuable.  I need to fight for this.”  No you don’t.  You can’t take it with you when you die any more than I can take my face wash.  It’s all face wash.  Buy a new one.  Why do you want it anyway?  It’s got memories of the ex attached to it.  Be honest with yourself.  Why are you really fighting over that stuff?   Trust me when I say you’ll be much happier in the long run if you let it go.  (Elsa, amirite?)  You’ll feel empowered, and the ex will probably be hurt that you were able to let go so easily, so that’s at least one benefit, right?  

Alisha