Why Early Mediation Is the Smartest Move in Your Divorce
There is a common debate in the legal community: Should you mediate before or after filing for divorce? While many family lawyers suggest waiting until after filing to ensure "proper financial disclosures" and "court-mandated deadlines," my experience as a former magistrate and attorney of 17 years has shown me that this is often a strategy that benefits the litigation process more than the family.
Here is the truth: You don’t need a case number to start making smart decisions.
Debunking the "Wait to File" Myths
- Myth 1: You need the court to handle financial disclosures.
Financial disclosures are mandatory in every divorce. The court provides the same standardized forms and checklists to everyone. You can download and complete these forms today—you don't need a judge to tell you to be transparent. - Myth 2: Court deadlines are necessary to settle.
Courts do set deadlines, but they often set them for a year or more into the future. If you file first, you may spend six months just getting to your first court-ordered mediation. Why wait 18 months for a trial date when the law allows you to be divorced in as little as 91 days if you reach an agreement early?
The Benefits of Engaging Early
Choosing mediation at the start of your journey offers several strategic advantages:
- A Professional Reality Check: Early mediation provides a neutral assessment of your demands. I can tell you when an argument is likely to fail in court, giving you "inside information" before you waste thousands on a losing battle.
- Confidential Strategy: You are always welcome to involve a lawyer in mediation, even if you do so "behind the scenes." Because mediation—whether in person or via Zoom—is conducted in separate rooms, you can consult with your counsel privately without the other party ever knowing.
- Efficiency and Control: By resolving your case early, you maintain control over the outcome rather than leaving your future in the hands of a judge who may only spend a few hours on your file.
Choosing the Right Representation
Not all lawyers are built for settlement. If you choose to involve an attorney, research them thoroughly. Good lawyers prioritize your peace and encourage an open mind; bad ones may encourage conflict to increase billable hours.
If you are ready to see if your case can be resolved on your terms, let’s talk. Schedule a free consultation at coombeadr.com. Then maybe you can be as happy as Nicole Kidman celebrating the end of her divorce.
